A Personal Journey of Forgiveness
I used to be someone who held grudges tightly. When someone hurt me, or those I loved, I carried that pain for years. Even after I began walking with God, forgiveness felt impossible. I would pray, cry, and try harder, but the bitterness stayed.
Then one day, while meditating on Ezekiel 36:26–27, something shifted.
“26 Also, I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. 27 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.”
I realised forgiveness wasn’t something I had to force; it was something God wanted to do through me.
I prayed, “Lord, I can’t forgive these people on my own.” And in that moment, I became aware that the answer was not more effort, but trusting the new heart He had already given me.
Over time, the anger began to fade. I could talk about those people without pain. I even found myself praying for their success and healing, in line with scripture, “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,” Matthew 5:44. Hard as it was in the beginning, the more I prayed, the more the bitterness dissipated.
That’s when I knew, it wasn’t my effort; it was His love working in me.
God didn’t just heal my heart. He gave me a new one.
Forgiveness Flows from Transformation, Not Effort
There is something deeply freeing about realising that forgiveness is not something we do; it is something that flows from who we have become in Christ.
For years, I thought forgiveness meant trying harder, praying longer, or forcing myself to forget the pain. But forgiveness is not born from effort, it is born from transformation.
When God promised in Ezekiel 36, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you,” He was describing an exchange. The old heart that held onto pain, rehearsed offence, and demanded justice was replaced with a heart that could release, heal, and love beyond reason.
Forgiveness became possible not because I became stronger, but because I was living from a new nature.
The Promise of a New Heart
Forgiveness begins with acknowledging what God has already given, a new heart.
This heart does not operate by human logic; it operates by divine life. When God places His Spirit within us, He gives us His capacity to love and forgive. Forgiveness is no longer something we have to manufacture; it becomes something that flows naturally from Christ within us.
This is why forgiveness feels impossible under religion but natural in relationship. Religion demands effort from the flesh. Rebirth releases life from the Spirit.
Forgiving Through God’s Love, Not Willpower
Scripture tells us:
“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)
This is not a command to imitate God through willpower. It is an invitation to live from the same life that forgave us.
“God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 5:5)
When we understand how deeply we have been forgiven, forgiveness stops being forced and becomes an overflow. The Holy Spirit does not command forgiveness from a distance, He expresses it from within us.
Forgiveness and Inner Healing
Forgiveness and healing are inseparable. What we refuse to release, we continue to carry.
“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
Healing flows where hearts are open, not hidden. God already sees and knows where we are wounded, but He does not override our will. When we choose to open our hearts honestly, without rehearsed “Christian responses”, we give Him space to heal what has been hurting us.
The new heart does not merely forgive once; it lives in forgiveness. It chooses grace over bitterness, peace over pain, and freedom over resentment.
Living from the New Heart
Forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt never happened. It means releasing the debt because God has already released ours. It is not about excusing wrong; it is about choosing freedom.
Here is what living from the new heart looks like:
- Acknowledge the hurt honestly — God already knows and sees our pain, but healing flows as we willingly open our hearts to Him, choosing honesty over appearances.
- Acknowledge the new heart within you — as believers, we do not ask God for a new heart; we rest in the one we received at the new birth and allow Christ within us to forgive through us.
- Rest in the finished work of the cross — forgiveness is not produced by striving but released through trust.
- Release the person to God — forgiveness entrusts justice and healing to the One who judges righteously.
- Walk in freedom — forgiveness is not a one-time act but a way of life rooted in grace.
The new heart doesn’t keep score, it keeps grace, because love “is not easily provoked” (1 Corinthians 13:5).
If you are reading this and realise that forgiveness feels impossible because you have not yet experienced this new heart, I encourage you to read our post: “What It Really Means to Be Born Again.”
A Prayer from My Heart
Father, thank You for giving me a new heart and a new spirit.
Thank You that forgiveness flows from Your life in me, not from my effort.
I come to You honestly, acknowledging that I am hurting, in pain, and even angry.
I open my heart fully to Your healing and grace.
I release every person who has hurt me and entrust them to You.
Let Your love continue to flow through me, bringing freedom and peace.
My heart is no longer made of stone, it is alive with Your grace.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen. ❤️
Forgiveness is not the end of healing, it is the beginning.
When God gives us a new heart, He gives us His capacity to love beyond pain and forgive beyond reason. This is how true inner healing begins.
If this message has stirred questions about how to get this “new heart”, or if you sense that you’ve known about God but long to experience new life in Christ, we would love to hear from you. And if you are already a believer but want to grow in understanding your identity in Christ and learn to live from grace rather than striving, you are warmly welcome here. Please reach out to us, we are honoured to walk with you in a safe space rooted in love, truth, and grace.